Layer upon layer upon....

I spoke at my church last Sunday, and then sent out this email for those who weren't there.  Here's what I shared:

Hi friends,

Thank you for giving me the chance to speak at church today.  Thinking about what to share, and then having that opportunity was a good way to process my experience in San Antonio.  Your support and kindness mean the world to me!  I am also including a bible verse that feels meaningful to me, and connected to this issue in ways I can't totally put words to.  

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

-Jen

Matthew 6:24 

 Nadie puede servir a dos amos al mismo tiempo, porque aborrecerá al uno y apreciará al otro; será fiel al uno y del otro no hará caso. No pueden servir al mismo tiempo a Dios y al dinero.

“You cannot serve two masters: God and money. For you will hate one and love the other, or else the other way around.

Elizabeth asked me to speak for a few minutes about my experience in San Antonio.  As many of you may already know, I was a volunteer for RAICES, Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services.  My job was to serve as an observer in immigration court, take notes about significant interactions and outcomes to share with RAICES.  Originally I was going to be volunteering at the Karnes detention facility, however, because of the current administration’s fear and intolerance around refugees, there were not people at the detention facility that needed the support I could provide.  Currently, people fleeing their home country, many from Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala, in search of a safe haven are being forced to wait in border towns in Mexico while they await outcomes of their asylum hearings.  Keep in mind, this process is long-going on for months and months on end.  I could talk on and on about the many reasons this is a terrible policy that hurts people, but in my short time I want to share what I witnessed in person.

As a court observer, I was often the only other person besides the judge, DHS Department of Homeland Security lawyer, and the interpreter in the courtroom.  Where were the refugees you might wonder?  They were present on a screen, over short circuit TV, and very very few had lawyers.  Some were in detention facilities, and others presented from a tent court, in Brownsville, the refugees who are forced to remain in Mexico as they seek protection and safety.

I observed six different judges, ½ a day each, and thankfully, most of them appeared to implement the current law in the fairest way possible.  One judge, however, was surly, arrogant, impatient, and appeared to be uncaring or unable to feel the fear or desperation that the refugees clearly communicated even in the sterile environment of a courtroom, even over short circuit TV.  I found myself wishing HE could live through some of the experiences the refugees were describing, kidnapping, witnessing murders of friends or family, and living in constant fear.  I wished that he could try living in a Mexican border town with little money, nagging hunger, and lack of bathroom or shower facilities.  And would you figure, I just keep thinking about Judge Adams.  I continue to puzzle.  I’ve written him letters in my mind, had many imaginary conversations with him since sitting in his courtroom.  And, at some point, I will write him a note of some sort.

But for now, I continue to puzzle.  I puzzle over the capacity for humans to be resilient and for kind people to stand up to unkind people in small and in large ways.  I puzzle over the meaning of being witness to other people’s suffering face to face, and also from a distance.

During my time, one thing I witnessed again and again, were people who aren’t going to give up and who hold hope for change.  For every judge Adams, there are hundreds of people giving every amount of energy they have toward helping refugees.  In every situation, from the bailiff who handed people tissues, the Lyft driver who asked with genuine curiosity about my volunteer time, and the kind Texan gentleman who bought me lunch after hearing about what I’d witnessed.  There are children donating stuffed animals, college graduates doing legal research and on the ground grunt work, and SO many pro bono lawyers with savvy and grit and big hearts.  There is “Team Brownsville”, a group in Texas delivering meals across the border to the tent cities of waiting refugees.  And many many more people doing work that is seen and unseen.

I may never know the motivations of Judge Adams.  But, I will not be in doubt of the motivations and intentions of so many people using their voices, money, education, and privilege to help refugees.  And thanks to this community, I was able, and will continue to educate myself and share with others about the plight of those seeking asylum and ways we can all be a support.

And I will pray for Judge Adams.  I hope you will too.

Thank you.

Chi Ranch Joy!

A lap full!

What is the perfect medicine to shake off sadness and frustration?  Texas Chihuahua Rescue!  My friend Trina was going out Saturday to put in a shift and let me tag along.  I was very excited, and wow, it was even cooler than I imagined!  First I sat on a low bench in an outside kennel area with six of the sweetest little dogs ever.  Two were quite young, their paws still kind of pudgy.  Two were tan and shy, and two were black and lanky, like Poppy! My lap was a nest of wiggling sweetness.  I could just feel my face grinning and my whole spirit fill with joy and relief. 


After a nice long while of snuggling with this pack, I moved around to see all the other dogs.  What a riot!  I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was so struck by their unique personalities!  Some were tender and cautious, others bold and immediately friendly, some were barky while others didn't make a peep.  And no, I wasn't tempted to adopt one.  Poppy is my one true chihuahua love for now.  But someday....

These two started out really shy, but not for long!

This place has an incredible record of getting dogs adopted.  And the dogs there were so well cared for that I didn't feel the sadness that I've felt when visiting shelters.  This is clearly a very happy group of dogs.  That said, the dogs have no idea of the cozy futures that await them in their foster or adoptive homes!  It reminded me of when Poppy came into our world.  When we petted her she would close her eyes and put her head back as if it was the most amazing thing she'd ever experienced.  Now the little turkey takes it all for granted, and good for her, each little pooch deserves that sense of comfort and security.  

Who would have guessed that I would get to have such a cool experience here in San Antonio!?  My hope, is that all my friends and family get to have their own version of visiting the Texas Chihuahua Rescue.  What kinds of beauty and sweetness are just waiting for you to discover them?  I am grateful for how this trip to Texas has opened up new joys and connected me with people and passions.  And I will be so glad to return home to see my little family and my little dog pack!

So Much Input!

Dear friends,

I have observed SO much in the last two days, it is hard to put into words.  But anyone who knows me knows that won't keep me from trying!

First, I gotta tell you about someone I met today.  I was looking for somewhere to get lunch downtown by the courthouse.  I had been totally responsible and packed my own lunch of PB&J and a sliced up apple, but left it inconveniently on the floor of my airbnb.  I walked past a really busy restaurant thinking it would be too long to wait, but then my better sense kicked in and I realized I HAD to go there.  Busy places are usually the best places, right?!  So I walked in, and an older Texan gentleman held the door open for me.  I noticed he had a juror pin on his shirt, so when it was time to put our name on the list I encouraged him to go first.  He suggested we dine together, and I accepted.  It was a great decision, as my new friend Jim was really lovely to visit with.  He said that the split pea soup was incredible, and we both ordered a bowl.  I asked for bread, and he liked that idea with the addition of some butter.  We visited, feasted on split pea soup and rye bread slathered in butter, and I felt like I was in a movie.  At the end of our meal, Jim said he would like to show me Texas hospitality and bought my lunch.  And since it felt surreal, I asked him if he wouldn't mind getting a picture together "because my friends will hardly believe me" and he obliged. Jim held up the mustard container with the restaurant's name, Schilo's.  I didn't even get his last name, but I sure did enjoy hearing about life in San Antonio.  I saw on the menu that Schilo's has cheesecake, so I might have to return there later!

So immigration court, how do I explain everything?!  Most of the people receiving hearings are at a remote setting, a detention facility.  In one courtroom, the video image of the "respondents" (refugees) is very difficult to see.  Their faces are about as big as the small white bowl of butter in the image of me and Jim above.  In the background there are other women (it happens to be all women at this facility) waiting on benches.  If you're familiar with the legal system, court cases are often very disjointed.  The hearings were not actually the final asylum hearing, but instead, one step in a VERY long and disjointed process. Disjointed to the refugees I should say.  For the judge it is all orderly and makes sense.  Once a person has crossed the border without documentation and presented themselves to US border patrol here are the steps as I understand them for someone in detention:

• The person receives a NTA- Notice to Appear.  This says they have to appear before a judge in a court.  Currently many of these NTAs say TBD in the section where there should be a date and a location.
• They appear in their first court.  The judge reviews the allegations on the NTA and the person makes a plea.  They are read their rights.  They are not provided a lawyer and are told that the government will not provide them a lawyer.  The judge asks them what country they want to be returned to if they do not receive asylum or another type of protection.  If they decline to say a country, the DHS (Department of Homeland Security) lawyer makes a recommendation.  DHS always recommends the country they came from.  One woman today tried to request Canada and the judge said no, then let DHS make a recommendation.  Guess what DHS recommended?  Yep, the country they came from originally. The judge tells them that all documents introduced to the court have to be in English.  They are given another court date to appear.  The judge tells them that they can make a plea today or request time to get a lawyer.  They do not have ANY opportunity to say why they are afraid to return to their country.  "YES or NO.  ANSWER MY QUESTION" was the terrible judge quote when people tried to explain themselves or talk about their experience. 
• At the next court date they can request asylum due to "Credible Fear".  The judge gives them an asylum application.  If they don't have a lawyer, the judge tells them they have to make a plea to the charges.  Today, most of the people did not have a lawyer.  They expressed concern about not being able to get a lawyer, and they judge said they had to make a plea.  Again, at this phase, "YES or NO.  ANSWER MY QUESTION"  No chance to explain or share or be heard. 
•  At the next court date, they have to have the asylum application submitted.  They are asked to testify in the court that their application is complete.  At this point they are given a final asylum hearing and the hearings were ONE to TWO years out!  But at least they had some protection here in the US while waiting.  They still have not told their story.  That has to wait for the asylum hearing. 

Anyone who knows anything about immigration law is probably cringing SO much reading my descriptions!  A big part that I want people to understand is that THIS IS COMPLICATED!!!  The judge asked each person, why they didn't come into the country by the legal process, presenting themselves at a border crossing.  So many people said, in so many different ways, that it was dangerous and they had tried, but they got really scared.  Our government has created a barrier, so that there is a queue.  In other words, people were needing to go wait in a line each day at the border and the line was SEVERAL weeks or even months long.  And meanwhile, people described getting robbed, seeing others kidnapped, and feeling very unsafe.  So they took the desperate measure of crossing the river or the dessert, but here's the thing...most of these people immediately turned themselves in to an ICE agent!  I heard this person after person after person.


I found myself fantasizing about having the judge and DHS lawyer go spend some time in a border town after a long journey, with no money and no where to sleep at night.  Great fortune was on my side, and I got to ride the elevator with a very cool immigration lawyer.  He was gracious listening to my disbelief and reminded me that the system is designed in every way to discourage people and to take away hope.  I have no idea how a person would keep hope when kept in detention, away from their family, and with very limited ability to access legal support.  For a moment I wondered if I should become an immigration lawyer, but don't worry, that idea was shuttered pretty quickly.

So, since I'm not the United States Immigration System, I will say that my system is designed to encourage people and give them hope.  In fact, I encourage each of you to think of how YOUR system is designed.  And I'm going to keep thinking about this for myself, how can I work to increase hope for people, any and all people.  I am grateful for each of you.  If you read this to the end, you have some incredible patience, or you are my mom, and either way, I consider myself blessed by your presence in my life.

Love,
Jen

So Many Helpers!

Dear friends,

I am writing this post for my friends who are kids, but any grown ups are welcome to read it as well.

Guess what?!  Today, I met SO many people who want to help the refugees!  I went to an office that was FULL of people all working on computers and talking to each other.  Most of them could speak English and Spanish.  And lots of them were lawyers, but some of them were volunteers like me.  Two of the lawyers came all the way from Washington DC to volunteer! One of them was even a midwife from North Carolina, but she is retired now and spends lots of time helping other people who are trying to find safety here in the United States.

For a minute, I thought I met someone who didn't like the idea of helping the refugees.  She was driving the car that took me to my awesome new airbnb.  When she picked me up after the training it was REALLY cold and windy, so we talked about the cold weather.  She asked me what I was doing in San Antonio, and I said I was here to try and help people who are refugees.  I was kind of excited to tell her about getting to be a court observer, but when I told her that she got really quiet and didn't really talk to me.  I wondered, hmmmm, maybe I've finally met a person who doesn't want to let other people come to the US!?  Since there was a whole twenty minutes left of the ride, I decided to ask her about what kinds of food she likes to eat here in San Antonio.  And guess what, she started talking to me again!  She told me about how her dad used to go straight to a town on the gulf coast and buy the freshest shrimp, and how her mom would cook the shrimp and they'd eat shrimp ALL NIGHT!  We talked about yummy food for the whole rest of my ride.  I have a hunch she just didn't know what in the world I was up to.  Maybe she thought I was a lawyer and that made her nervous?  It could be that she doesn't really know anyone who is able to help refugees, or maybe she hasn't met a refugee before and doesn't know how scary it is for them.  And of course, it's totally possible that she just doesn't want anybody to come here from another country.  Maybe that's scary for her?  Or, maybe she just didn't really have much to say about it.  I do know that she really liked talking about fresh seafood, and I have a feeling if someone was hungry and she was feasting on those shrimp she would probably be happy to share.


Well, tomorrow I get to go to observe in court!  I can walk to the courthouse from where I am staying, but it's a good thing I brought my puffy warm coat because it got SUPER cold here last night!

Please tell your grown ups to check out this link about why some people are here looking for safety.  I learned a lot from it! And I am really curious to hear more questions if you have any.  Kid questions are kind of the best!

Love,
Jen

PS- There are some really cool plants here!  You can't see in the picture of the palm tree, but there are several small birds poking around in the dead fronds.  I wonder if they life in there?!

A Safe Place

Dear ones,

I am writing this post to you from El Tropicano, an old hotel in San Antonio that thankfully was affordable for tonight.  Dolly Parton even stayed here, back in the day.  You see, I booked a bargain room at an Airbnb and ended up spending one night feeling a bit uncomfortable, but mostly uneasy and not totally safe.  This morning at my temporary church home,Travis Park Church, I thought about how my dilemma of discomfort was something I could solve rather easily.  That made me think about how people seeking safety and making the difficult decision to leave their home, friends, and even their country to seek asylum do not have the kind of choices that I have!  At first, I thought that meant I was supposed to stay in the unease of my Airbnb.  But as I thought of nearly two weeks of uneasiness I realized that if I felt safer in my home base I would be much more able to support the people I'm here to help.  The new airbnb sounds much better, and when I mentioned to the new host that I was volunteering with RAICES he responded with enthusiasm and said that their office is just two blocks away.  Success!

I received three videos before I left, from dear friends wishing me well.  Two of them were children, and the videos brought happy tears to my eyes!  Today, my friends Reid (first grade) and Julie sent me a video, because Reid had an important question to ask "Have I met anybody who wouldn't let anybody in to the country yet?"  What a great question!  The cool thing to me so far is that everyone I have met has been incredibly friendly!  While eating at a family run restaurant boasting the "best enchiladas in San Antonio", I really enjoyed seeing all of the happy people feasting.  I noticed that there were people eating together that didn't necessarily look like each other.  This restaurant had young and old, black, white and Latino people, and everyone was together, connected, part of the dinner feast.  I don't often see mixed groups in Portland as we are pretty segregated overall.  Suddenly, I have a whole new sense of what comprises Texan pride!  I was just as pleased to see this same diversity at Travis Park Church this morning.  And don't worry, although a part of me thoroughly enjoys rose colored glasses, I know that people in Texas certainly experience racism and discrimination as well.  But I gotta say, it seems like a great starting place to find connection with a wide variety of people who also have a wide variety of experiences to share!  So Reid, I can honestly answer that so far, the people I have met seem like kind people, and not ones that would prevent other people from achieving safety in their lives.  I can also say that I've been referred to as ma'am more times in this short trip than in all of my years put together, but I'm not totally sure where that comes in :)

Tomorrow I will go to RAICES for the orientation.  Thank you to all of my friends and family for being kind people.  I know that you all do the best you can to share what you have so that others do not go without.  I honestly think most people would make that choice when face to face with another human being.  It is only when people become somehow less than whole people in our minds that we lose a sense of caring or compassion for them.

Love,
Jen

Heading to San Antonio to volunteer

Since hearing about children being separated from their parents at our southern border, I have felt sick, heartbroken, and sometimes hopeless.  Our family decided to give money to the ACLU , but just giving money has not felt like enough. In June I reached out to RAICES  (Refugee and Immigration for Education and Legal Services) and found out about the Karnes Pro Bono Project.  This project sends lawyers and supports into the Karnes Detention Facility and provides legal advice and education for people seeking asylum.  You can read more about the program here.  

I am committed to using my education and privilege to reduce suffering, and this seems to be the most direct way I can do that.  The Karnes Pro Bono Project has accepted me as a volunteer in November!  I am scheduled to fly to San Antonio November 9th and will be there until around November 20th . I’ll work four twelve hour days at Karnes one week, and then two additional days at the Greyhound station where the government drops off people after getting out of detention centers.  

Thanks to my generous community, this entire trip has been funded through a gofundme campaign!  Now I am preparing by taking the online tutorials and learning more about the entire asylum process.  

I know that my time in San Antonio will only be a small drop in the bucket to reduce suffering and support people seeking asylum. That said, I plan to use my experience to educate myself firsthand about what is going on, and then share this experience with my community when I return to Portland.  In these dark times, it is all too easy to feel hopeless and helpless. My hope is that through some concrete actions, I can empower all of us to make an impact on this situation.  Thank you!

Sincerely,
Jen Patterson

PS- I included a picture of me years ago, holding my precious daughter and pregnant with my son.  I can't imagine anyone separating me from my children, and don't want any child or parent to experience that trauma!